In my own life, I have several significant relationships. Some have shaped who I am as a person and some have influenced who I am as a professional. All of them have their own significant meaning and as I reflect on a few of them here, I am reminded of the ways in which each of them came in to my life or how I entered theirs.
My family has played a significant part in who I am, both as a person and a professional. My older sister and I were not close growing up. We are four years apart and to say that we had a rivalry as children would be an understatement. It was only after we had both been to college and back that we became close. She is extremely bright and I go to her for advice or answers for most everything I encounter. We have had to work on our relationship as I believe the rivalry we had scarred us. We are very different in many ways and disagree about many things, however we have learned that we can disagree and still continue the conversation. We spend time on vacations together, with my mom. The three of us are very close as it has been just the three of us since my dad passed away almost 17 years ago. That was a difficult time that I believe brought my mom and I closer together. My dad and I were always close, but when he died I relied on my mom for so many more things. It is interesting to look back and think about the ways you are influenced by your family and that you will never have that time back. The relationships within a family are often complex and you are tied together forever so it is important to reflect on where you have come from to see where you are going.
(From left to right: me, sister Jen, mom Linda)
I was never the girl that had a large group of friends. I have always had a small group of close friends and, to this day, I wouldn't trade that for anything. I think it is because I invest time in each relationship that I value so I only end up with a few! My best friend from high school and I are still so close. She is still single (like me) and we feel bonded in that way. She and I have not always seen eye to eye on things and have taken time away from one another, but we always seem to come back and pick up where we left off. She is one person that I can say anything to and has been there for me through so many things. She knows when I need space and I know when she does. This has occurred over a long period of time and so I think that it has been those challenges that we have worked through and not given up the relationship over that has allowed us to remain such close friends.
My best friend from college and I have had a similar journey. We were never roommates in college, but when I bought a house after college she moved up to Minneapolis from her small town. It was difficult for both of us to be on our own, but we figured it out together. We met new people and had fun living our post-college lives. After several years, I was ready to live on my own and so she moved out. It was not easy for me to talk to her about it, but she understood. It was awkward and uncomfortable and after she moved out we didn't talk or see each other for over a year. Finally we reconnected and began spending more time together. We traveled to New York and California together and established our post-living together friendship. She has a degree in the early childhood field and, though she is not using it, she supports my work and asks about the master's program I have started. She has always been someone that I can go to about challenges I am having at work and she offers sound advice because she understands. This is another example of a relationship that went through its challenges, but was not left behind.
(From left to right: Cheri (college best friend), me, Colleen (high school best friend))
In each of these relationships, there were times that things were difficult and it was through these experiences that I learned that these individuals were people that I could rely on. In my professional life, I can see this process happening frequently, whether it be with an employee that does not agree with a policy or practice or a family that is unhappy with the service they are receiving. Investing time and space allows each side to think carefully about the best interest of the child and, through further discussion, a common ground can often be found. There will be times that disagreements occur and may not be reconciled, but that does not mean that the relationships should be abandoned. When partnering with families, there is most often always a way to meet in the middle and act in the best interest of the child. As with personal relationships, partnering with families takes time and effort and the construction of the relationship does not happen quickly. It must be cultivated slowly and with sensitive guidance.
Katherine
ReplyDeleteYou have a very nice post. I enjoyed looking at your photos. In my opinion, when you have someone to share your feeling with, that's a relationship. We are all humans, and we will have differences in opinion, but we must remember we are still family and friends. As educators, I feel it should be the same way teaching our children. We must encourage our parents to be active in the learning process and build a relationship with the families of our children as if they are our own families.
I enjoyed reading your post. I'm glad to hear that you and your sister have been able to make amends and can have a relationship. It is nice to have friends that can be there to support you, but nothing is like family.
ReplyDeleteKatherine,
ReplyDeleteMy family has also played a significant role to who I am today. When I lost my father in 2004, I was extremely saddened by the lost; however those hard times played a very significant role to who I am today. My father was the rock in my life and the one I counted on. I did not thin k I was going to male it without him, but it made me stronger and more independent.